it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
