Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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