is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
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