need another drink. this is the easiest way
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
