I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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