Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
