I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
