Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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