You work out of a Hotel?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize