Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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