so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
