sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
