3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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