once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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