i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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