Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
