your room smells of hookers.
And success
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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