you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
