:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Houston, we have a blender
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
