I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
