We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize