So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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