So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
