i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
