There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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