it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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