YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
...so i touched it.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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