Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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