did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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