Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
