why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
i think im in europe. pls send help
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
