actually, I'm a sock model
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
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