My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Randomize
