Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Randomize
