During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
