Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize