i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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