So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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