Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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