Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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