Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
