More tranny stories later!
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Randomize
