Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You're like the curious george of whores
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize