Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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