Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
