Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Randomize
