I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
