none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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