So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
