Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
