so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Drunk is not a location!
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
