Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
