would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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