You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize