The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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