I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
