too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
