so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
