There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Randomize
