I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
