I am in a vortex of obligation.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
